I’ve been visited by extraterrestrials!!!

I have long been a doubter about claims that earth has been visited by aliens.

I have been skeptical that “crop circles” are evidence of these extraterrestrial visitations, believing instead that they were human-created hoaxes.

Skeptical I am no longer.

Why?

Because while mowing my lawn this morning, I uncovered crop circles on my own property!

You doubt?

Here’s the proof in pictures. I assure you that these startling photos are completely untouched. No photoshopping. Nothing.

Just the pure unadulterated proof that my home was chosen as a worthy site for an alien spaceship landing zone.

PHOTO 1

"Crop Circles" in my backyard.

"Crop Circles" in my back yard.

PHOTO 2

More crop circles in my back yard

More crop circles in my back yard

PHOTO 3

Close up of crop circle in my back yard

Close up of crop circle in my back yard

PHOTO 4

Crop circles on my front yard

Crop circles on my front yard

PHOTO 5

Another close up of crop circle in my back yard

Another close up of crop circle in my back yard

So, there you have it. Proof positive that I have been visited. Admittedly, it looks like it was a pretty small space ship, but that simply suggests that I was visited by a race of hobbit-like creatures that made the immensely improbably journey from another planet an imaginably long distance away.

Perhaps I was also taken and experimented on. I don’t have any memories of that right now, but they might come back under hypnosis. I’ll let you know when…uh, I mean, if that happens.

I bet some of you are still skeptical like I used to be.

So this is my challenge. How would YOU explain these circles, uncovered by my lawn mowing efforts this morning?

I await your unconvincing answers.

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11 Comments

Filed under Athesim, humanism, religion, science, skepticism, social commentary

11 responses to “I’ve been visited by extraterrestrials!!!

  1. Brad Whitehorn

    I have those in my yard too… of course it was my dogs who left them… come to think of it, they are kind of strange… even for dogs!

  2. theformerfundie

    Brad, what are you feeding your dogs if they are crapping that big??????

    I’m still going with the aliens explanation.

  3. Dana

    Well, while I believe that almost anything could be possible (although not probable), it looks like those could be due to flowerpots left on the lawn, killing the grass underneath. OR, it could be from a garden hose that wasn’t put away properly. What do you think?

    • theformerfundie

      Well, Dana, the problem with your theory is that these circles were not visible prior to my cutting the grass, only after it was clipped. It would obviously take superior alien technology to hide the landing gear marks under the surface. Flower pots can’t do that.
      I’m still going with aliens.

  4. JIm

    Go get your big plastic trash barrels and roll them out to your yard. I’ll bet they fit *perfectly* onto those circles!

    😀

  5. Melanie Hamby

    Instant believer!!! I bet there are so many because it took that many to carry you away (unless they could shrinky-dink you)… what am I talking about, of course they could! Get yourself to the hypnotherapist STAT! Don’t forget to draw what they looked like. I’m in awe! Now I have to rethink my entire belief system…

  6. Paula

    It’s obvious, Scott.

    The angels have been playing naughts and crosses again.

  7. Colleen

    I still don’t know whether you are joking about this or not but they are not caused by aliens. I didn’t know what to believe but then I showed the photos to my Dad (I am out visiting my parents) and he said they were caused by Rhizoctonia Yellow Patch. It is caused by the fungus Rhizoctonia cerealis and is favored by cool, wet weather. I looked at pictures of it on the internet and it looks exactly like the pictures of your lawn. Oh well don’t despair. One day we’ll make contact.

  8. David

    Extraterrestrials?? That sounds crazy. Now “intraterrestrials” I could believe. Perhaps some garden gnomes needed to assemble a circular stage for their annual gnomish folk festival which was held in your backyard this year due to changes to the sponsorship restrictions of the previous venue. No wait, I think I’m getting this confused with something else…

  9. Pingback: Crop Cirlce Mystery in My Backyard Solved! « The Former Fundie’s Blog

  10. Z

    Hi, I too had the same thing on my front yard and I freaked, but the circle did not close, it was 1′ open, who knows? maybe its the unknown or it rhizoctonia?? I only had one on my front yard and I did not have anything on that side of my home. Crazy huh?

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